Select posts by Jagrmeister on the now defunct GYOW = GoingYourOwnWay.com

MGTOW Primer - If you READ ONE thread, read this

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1 year 11 months ago #106 by jagrchive

MGTOW Primer - If you READ ONE thread, read this was created by jagrchive

The following MGTOW curriculum is a condensed, curated guide to MGTOW that will give you a strong sense of what MGTOW is about & what we believe. We took the time to put this together because MGTOW historically has had its contents 'all over the place'. We've ordered these into stages so you can gradually get more familiarity with MGTOW - MGTOW 101 as well as advanced MGTOW concepts. If as you're reading, certain words don't make sense, try our MGTOW dictionary . We hope you like it!

Stage 1 - "Wait what is MGTOW?"

What is MGTOW (article) - A summary of what Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) is about. MGTOW is about recognizing the actual nature of women and the changing nature of relationships between men and women. It is recognizing that women, marriage, and relationships in general are oversold to us by society. It is an Awareness that can inform how you to choose to live your life and define your self-worth in meaningful terms, and not in terms of one's ability to get on with women. This article goes a little further into it. For another take on MGTOW, read this article about MGTOW as 'awareness' and the purpose of having a community.

Elevator Pitch (article) - Here are two elevator pitches that summarize the MGTOW idea - Elevator 1 , Elevator 2 .

Red Pill Antibiotic Nuke (article) - This may be a tough pill to swallow, but you're going to have to do it sometime anyhow. This was a post on Reddit Red Pill and it contains a massive amount of truth about women and relationships. This is the 'reality about women' we talk about in MGTOW. Brace yourself- there are revelations here that won't be easy to stomach after being subjected to the non-stop brainwashing society gives us about women being faultless "angels".

For those who are married/divorced/thinking-about-getting-married, read this .

Stage 2 - "What is going on with Women today?"

Think about women you interact with. Consider how she thinks about 'boys' or 'guys' and how she goes about dating, if you could call it 'dating'. Something has changed about modern women, and you know this, even if you can't put a label on it. Within MGTOW, we recognize there has been a Great Regression in women's mate selection preferences and relationship behavior . Here you will learn key concepts that explain what is happening and the tendencies of the modern women as she perceives men and how she thinks about dating.

Here's how we'll do this: I'll explain what is going on and hyperlink key concepts that you can bounce to while reading the paragraph. Feel free to create a new tab with the linked concepts, read them, and then come back. Each linked page has lots of useful information about the concept.

Women used to find someone with a similar Sexual Market Value (concept) as them; date them, and then marry. Today, women focus on the top 20% of men (also called Alpha Males ) and ride the cock carousel - choosing to engage in multiple short-term relationships with high-status guys, often at the expense of their mental state. During this phase, women repeatedly get pumped and dumped . They are incredibly fickle, dumping the guy they're with if they see what they consider a 'better' man ( 'bigger better deal' ). This kind of hookup culture often crowds out traditional dating. Her attraction to men is based on Gina Tingles and not on assessment of long-term compatibility or the man's Actual Value . The riding on the cock carousel severely damages a woman's psyche and fitness as a partner in a long-term relationship- this is called the "broken woman" phenomenon .

At some point, these women hit The Wall , a point in time when alpha males are not interested in them. Roughly at the same time, these women experience Baby Rabies. They need to find a man who will stick around and serve as an ideal 'helper' in her plan to have kids (in socially acceptable circumstances, aka- marriage). This means identifying a man in the lower 80% (ie: the majority of men) to serve as her Beta Bailout . Could that be you, dear reader, had you not gotten wise via MGTOW? What this means is that many men are left out of the equation by women in their 20s, but suddenly serve a purpose as a Human Wallet, an Emotional Tampon, and an easy to control Doormat husband in their late 20s or later. This dynamic (of dating 'exciting' studs in her 20s and marrying a consolation prize of a "boring" 80%'er for security and money later on) is called Alpha Fux, Beta Bux .

Take a Break

I almost feel sorry for you, my good reader. We've thrown a lot at you. It's a lot to process. You may even need to go away for a few hours to get your head around all of it, before you want to read further, especially if these revelations are new. No one said downing the Red Pill would be easy. But it is the truth. If you take time to reflect on your experiences and what you've observed out there in the real world, the descriptions we've laid out probably ring true.

Now might be a good time to watch amusing but pointless videos , read memes , or read satire . Or whatever it is you enjoy doing. We'll be here.

Stage 3 - "Why is this Happening and What do I do About it?"

(note: keep clicking the underlined hyperlinks in the text below to learn about the terms/concepts being discussed)

Some don't care about "why"; they know it's happening and that's enough. They simply want to know what to do about it- if that's you, jump to the next paragraph. Otherwise, the story of why is interesting. We mentioned the "Great Regression" and now we'll explain it (click on the link). As you can see from the concept page, a woman's preferences have changed;her relationship behavior has changed as well. Women have been regressed to unrestrained hypergamy , increasingly influenced by primitive instinct . She gauges a man's SMV based on criteria that today is superficial (and sometimes negative) but she is biologically hard-wired to respond to. Increasingly, a man's Actual Value is of limited value compared to her skewed perception of male SMV.

What to do? First, as you can probably tell by now, there is nothing wrong with you that you are not attached to a woman. If anything, it is a measure of actual value and common sense. Our observation is the delta between Sexual Market Value (what women are looking for in a man) and Actual Value has never been greater. SMV traits like full-sleeve tattoos, dark-triad traits (ie: narcissism), and even a criminal past are in high demand. We discuss this key difference here ("Actual Value vs. Sexual Market Value") . We understand that we are forgoing a liability in exchange for investing in life, and getting the most out of it. We are building our lives for ourselves.

On discovery of Red Pill, men choose to focus on self-improvement and enjoying life. There is an anger phase, and one of our mods BeijaFlor has written some excellent pieces on the phases men go through on developing MGTOW awareness:

Stages of MGTOW - stages of grief

"Don't Let Frustration With Women Make You Feel Bad About Life In General".

Where to go from here? You still have a sex drive, so you can go a few ways. You could sublimate your sexual drive towards productive activities . You could pursue p4p - escorts, massage parlors. These women are often attractive and cleaner than your average carouseler; the concerns about it are largely blue-pill hysteria to divert men from this option. You could Game women. We have a sub-forum on Game ( overview ) and this is a common route MGTOWs take. Our MGTOW philosophy on Game - called RecGame (recreational game) -- is a little different than PUA. PUA itself is a viable option. RooshV forum is a solid one. We always remember that as MGTOWs, our self-worth is not defined by our "success" with women. But as a means to satisfy our instinct, sure, why not. On option some MGTOWs pursue is ghosting ( ghosting sub-forum ) which is a more extreme path of withdrawing from social interactions and focusing on onesself.

But there is much more to life than this. Most MGTOWs invest themselves in hobbies, friends, and things they love about life. As it happens, most of that stuff happens OFF the forum, and so you don't necessarily see evidence of it. For example, I lift weights and surf. I am on separate forums for those hobbies, and talk with others who are into those things IRL. Our advice to men is: thrive. Take the time you would have otherwise spent taking your girl to Bed Bath and Beyond for the third time, and the money you would have spent on a wedding and her wardrobe on yourself. That's time and money you have that blue-pill conformoids don't. That's one of the emphasis of our Lounge forum - to discuss Living the Best Life .

And finally, on becoming MGTOW, you will get used to a never-ending litany of nonsense directed at MGTOWs. For reference, here are 5 Misconceptions about MGTOW - and our response .

Stage 4- Diving Deeper

OK, we're past MGTOW baby steps. Now it's time to dive deeper into what's going in society, in women, and choices men have to make. I'll list out the recommended reading material:

Love Game and Slut Game : the actual nature of women's sexual strategy today. Women have increasingly used something called Slut Game, whereas in the past they used Love Game to land a man. The rapidly increasing number of 'never marrieds' women in the recent Census reports suggests just how poorly Slut Game has worked for women.

Female Singledom is Loserdom : Just how does life as a bachelor and bachelorette differ? Given our different biological instincts, men being individualistic and consumed with passions and interests thrive in bachelorhood. Women, craving companionship, don't seek to jump in a different guy's bed every night, but that's what they end up doing; being a 'bachelorette' is rarely a choice.

Briffault's Law : a cornerstone in MGTOW philosophy, expressing the actual opportunistic nature of women. It contrasts strongly with the honor-based mutualism that comes naturally to men, and it's a mistake to think women share the same mindset that we do.

On Hypergamy : Some refer to hypergamy is a harmless female characteristic of wanting a 'better man'. This couldn't be further from the truth. Read why the manner in which hypergamy manifests in women today leads women astray, tries to justify all kinds of counterproductive (and immoral) behavior, and ultimately harms women. Men who benefit from female hypergamy (natural alphas, PUAs) intentionally and unintentionally misrepresent hypergamy to mean: women want the best man. In truth, hypergamy is about idiotic mate selection criteria which has no relevance in the 21st century; and is often used to justify all kinds of awful female behavior including cheating, quitting on her man, and excusing her for not stifling her biological instincts even when it causes her and men so much grief (all humans CAN stifle their instincts).

Women Punch Above their Weight in their 20s, Can't Find a Mate in their 30's
Referencing other works to summarize a point that many have understood on their own- that women aim for men out of their league in their 20s, get f*cked and chucked, and then stumble into their 30s with a fractured psyche and possibly infected with STDS looking a for a beta male fall-back who, increasingly, never shows up.

Time is on Your Side, not Theirs : a long-view of your life, given the state of women and relationships

And a few articles on not becoming a Beta Bux:

Only Quality Men have GFs/Wives
Our initial instinct may be to think positively about a man who announces that he has a new GF or that he's getting married......until we remember what that actually means.

Vine Swingers Meet their Fate
Women choose to vine-swing, or jump from man to man, for frivolous infractions or because they found a man who gives them more 'gina tingles. This is the official Modus Operandi of the modern woman. Women quit on men for not "holding frame" in situations, drop him, and keep swinging. For women (and perhaps for society), this means finally swinging the vine straight into another tree for a self-induced knockout.

Hypoagency and Resentment
Imagine you never took responsibility for anything. And imagine you kept failing. Can you imagine how angry you would be? Hypoagency and relationship failure (failure that is warranted by her own choices) mean that post-Carousel women in their 30s are ANGRY....and all that displaced anger comes back at you, simply for being a man. Sound like a good move to date her?

Why Marrying a Time-Bombing Post-Wall Carouseler is a Bad Idea : Men age like wine, women age like milk. Our respective SMVs go in different directions at 30 and beyond. Men NEVER have lower SMVs at 30 or later; we become distinguished, our wallets fatten, we gain status. Women, on the other hand, are on the fast-track to irrelevance.

As it turns out, women are less appealing than we first considered and female sexuality is just one of those things that's jumping the shark:

Women today are Men with Tits

Women without Makeup aren't Attractive (other makeup threads: "Wake-up to Makeup" , "The Power of Makeup is Unreal" )

Attraction to Women is Socially Constructed

Explicit Female Sexuality & Attention-Whoring Has Jumped the Shark

Amusement

The Red Pill can be amusing. Proof:

Beta for 10 years --> awakens --> breaks habit and wrecks GF's (+ her daughter's) plans to continue using him (read this: it is very cathartic and inspiring)

We also enjoy poking fun at female dating profiles:

Evermore dating profiles

Dating Profiles: Women who Lose, Lose for Life

Hopeless Women Looking for a Date

Dating Standouts

Stage 5: Moving Up the Learning Curve

Demosthenes has written some good material on resisting pressure from others and from women into the bad deal of relationships and marriage:

"You have so much to offer...." - how average people try to bait you into thinking marriage is something you should want.

Always remember, being Single is not a problem to solve.

"Where is this relationship going...." - how women try to move you from a single date to the altar.

Helpful Concepts to Know

Hypoagency - why women never accept responsibility, never hold themselves accountible, and often never learn
AWALT ('all women are like that') and NAWALT ('not all women are like that')
Hamster - a key concept. The method by which women rationalize their bad decisions and avoid responsibility.

Societal dynamics

Twat Echo Chamber - inter-female clusterf*ck
The Blue-Pill Horndog - men are oversexualized by the culture, and often end up drooling admirers of any woman they observe. Don't be a horndog.

Other interesting concepts

Alpha Widow - women never lose the admiration they have for the alphas they spread their legs for; it impacts their future relationships with the 80%.
Male Mother Need - men mistakenly assume that the caring nature they received from their mother would be found in other women.

Our critics are either conformist buffoons or twats with an agenda, but in either case, helpful to know the Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Techniques .

Stage 6: Intermediate MGTOW

Kyo gets into the psychology of the modern woman:

Part 1: Egocentrism
Part 2: Narcissism
Part 3: Solipsism
Part 4: Rationalization Hamster

MGTOW is international. In fact, the "herbivore man" movement in Japan began before MGTOW and is widespread there. Kyo writes an interesting article about how that came about .

Now that you've read this much about MGTOW, here is my perspective on MGTOW , which began as a means to explain to critics why MGTOWs insist on forming our own community (rather than literally 'obeying' the acronym to go our own way).

One area that's interesting is how alphas (top 20%) are subject to different rules than the rest of us. Women exhibit alpha groupie behavior, sucking up to them whether at a social outing or at work. Women go out of their way to accept tokenism from alphas , that is to say empty promises from them - either in relationships or at work. Here is an article called "Beware the Groupie" - how to spot an alpha groupie and avoid their obnoxious approach to life. There are some advantages to adopting an alpha posture with women. In general, women are too timid to hold alphas accountable. For that reason, it is always best to be bold with women, loud and confident, with strong frame. It is much preferable to approaching them as equals, or God forbid, as someone with more importance. Helpful to bear in mind when dealing with women, whether out and about or at work. There are techniques we recommend to improve your speaking voice:
mktow.com/index.php/component/kunena/jag...2-get-a-better-voice

Have a look at some top MGTOW videos. Three names come to mind for MGTOW stuff on YouTube: Sandman , and Barbarossa .

The MGTOW video game - amusing parody of video games, with a MGTOW twist

See more in our MGTOW video vault - usually we have helpful descriptions of the video so you can gauge it ahead of time.

I may be biased but have a look at my archive:
mktow.com/index.php/component/kunena/jagrchive

Some of the articles in the top section are covered above, but scroll to the bottom where it says "On Various Subjects" and you'll see my take on Core MGTOW Analysis to PUA.

Have a look at Cro-Mangon's discussion on why women aren't "the same" as men .

What's Next?

Participate - here on Going Your Own Way. Or on other MGTOW forums such as MGTOWHQ . Learn more from veteran MGTOWs and perhaps you'll develop and share your own insights and experiences.

For some interesting threads from this forum, see: