Definition
The Hamster (short for "Rationalization Hamster") is the instinctive mechanism women use to avoid responsibility for their decisions. She misrepresents the nature of what took place in order to preserve her fragile emotional state and to save face amongst her social circle. It is especially common when the woman arrives at her decision through
Primitive Instinct
, wherein she herself doesn't understand the reasons that drove her actions, since it was largely an automatic, subconscious reaction. (See examples below)
Explanation
From the
Private Man
The rationalization hamster is an analogy for the thought processes used by women to turn bad behavior and bad decisions into acceptable ones to herself and her friends. When a woman makes a bad decision, the hamster spins in its wheel (the woman’s thinking) and creates some type of acceptable reasons for that bad decision. The crazier the decision, the faster the hamster must spin in order to successfully rationalize away the insanity.
When the hamster rationalizes successfully, a woman can divorce [yeah, I meant to use that verb] herself from the consequences of her bad decision or behavior.
Here are some examples:
Bad Decision:
“I’m going out and getting drunk with my friends.”
Resulting Consequences:
Drunken and unsatisfactory hookup sex with a stranger.
Hamster Processing Result:
“I was drunk and he took advantage of me or maybe even raped me! Maybe it was a date rape drug!”
Final Result:
“It’s not my fault.”
Bad Decision:
“I deserve only the most attractive and successful man despite the fact that I don’t have much to offer in the context of dating and relationships.”
Resulting Consequences:
Can’t find any man for dating or a relationship or only has one-night stands.
Hamster Processing Result:
“There are no good men” or “Men suck”
Final Result:
“It’s not my fault.”
Bad Decision:
“I have such chemistry [vagina tingles!] with this guy so I’ll ignore the obvious red flags regarding his character.”
Resulting Consequences:
The sex is great for a short time and then the guy dumps her.
Hamster Processing Result:
“All men are players”
Final Result:
“It’s not my fault.”
Bad Decision:
I want to have a baby but I don’t have a man.
Resulting Consequences:
8lb bundle of “joy” through dubious means and resultant loss of career opportunities because of time management issues.
Hamster Processing Result:
“I’m a strong and empowered woman fulfilling her own needs but who has an employer who doesn’t support my lifestyle decision.”
Final Result:
“It’s not my fault.”
Note how the final result is
always the same.
The vast majority of women simply won’t understand the concept of the rationalization hamster. This makes the hamster immortal. Sure, it can be slowed down, but it always lives on. Hamster wisdom is now passed on to the younger generations of women with messages of “you deserve anything you want” or “you’re a special snowflake”. The hamster has become an integral part of our social fabric.
There is a social expectation that women cannot be faulted for their decisions and behaviors.
Marc Rudov
calls it the 11th commandment – Thou shalt not criticize women. This means that our collective folklore has “liberated” women to act on their worst motivations and behaviors without consequence. This will be for generations to come.
