Blue-Pill Confessional: What's the least dignified Beta-male act you've made? 2

BeijaFlor :

Well, I can't really point to any ...

If we leave out the fact that I lived with my mother until I took over paying the rent; then she was living with me, right?

And I bought a house for her (for us) when I was able to afford that. We lived together until the night she died.

Is that blue-pill, or just being a devoted and caring son?


frog :

I don't think it's blue pill. You did right.


Chairborne :

>   Originally Posted by O.G. 

> Now here comes the blue pill confession.
> I FUCKING AGREE TO DRIVE THIS CUNT TO THIS PARTY TO SHUT HER THE FUCK UP AND STOP THE TANTRUM!!!

Holy fuck O.G. Did she freak out because she didn't want to drive? Was it a tactic to make you drive both ways? I mean, was she REALLY batshit crazy in that instance, or was that a manipulation attempt? Because either way, it's fucking batshit crazy.


nother one (like I said, I have legions of them - though none as harsh as O.G.'s).

Between my first and second tours in Afghanistan, I met a girl on POF. She was a cute, 4'10" little redhead. I mean CUTE - just a bit curvy, but still a great bod. However she had health issues (a heart transplant) and while she lived a mostly normal life, she couldn't do serious cardio or anarobic activity, and she was on a thousand bucks a month prescription for anti-organ-rejection medication.

It's about two months we're together, but she breaks up with me because I get notice I'm heading over for 8 months, plus 6 months pre-deployment training. That's fair as I see it, 14 months is a long time to wait for a person you've only known such a short period.

But we keep in touch. I figure that I can win her back by the time I return if I send her emails and call her n' stuff.

Now I'm making ridiculous money. For the Canadian military, your bonuses go up the more time you have deployed out of country. Let's just say that I made more money than the CO of my unit, I was raking in the cash, renting out my condo, zero cost of living. I set my financial life ahead 10 years with that one tour.

So mid-tour, Lil' Red and I are talking on the phone, and she mentions that she's in legal trouble. Her ex (the guy before me) had agreed to leave her on his work prescription drug plan even though they were broken up. The employer found out about the fraud (and yes, it's fraud) so they want money back or otherwise they'll go to the authorities and both her and her dummy ex are sucked into the criminal justice system. She doesn't say how much, I have to ask and I have to 'drag it out of her'.

"$16,000"

So what do I do? I give it to her. I wire her eight transactions, so she can pay off her ex's debt to his employer. I had only dated her for two fucking months before I left, and she had dumped me. She didn't want to ask her father for help even though he's upper middle class and could afford part of it, because he would just 'lord it over her'.

Anyways, on the phone she's grateful - she says.

Now this story would be perfect if, when I got back I tried to get back to her but she fucked me off. But it didn't happen that way. Rather, I didn't pursue her when I got back. I just dropped it, I didn't want to be with her in the end. But being blue pill, it wasn't the money that turned me off. Her health had started degrading again, and I wasn't emotionally capable of dealing with a chronically-ill woman. She starting making overtures, but I rebuffed her. We're out of touch now.


O.G. :

>   Originally Posted by Chairborne 

> Holy fuck O.G. Did she freak out because she didn't want to drive? Was it a tactic to make you drive both ways?
> I mean, was she REALLY batshit crazy in that instance, or was that a manipulation attempt? Because either way, it's fucking batshit crazy.

Part 2:

Next session at marriage counselor. Cupcake pipes up first. She wanted to tell the counselor first about "a small incident" before I got a chance to "over exaggerate the whole thing" to the counselor.

Seems cupcake was "feeling frustrated" that the counsel sessions were not producing results fast enough. For weeks I was being trained ($100 per hour to counselor) in how to respond properly to cupcake when she wanted to discus an issue with me or express her needs. See I was was supposed to:

1. Listen to her complaint or issue in full. Without interrupting her.
2.Once she stated the issue I was to ask if there "was anything else she had to say?"
3. If she said she was through, I had to respond as follows: "Cupcake (I was then to repeat her stated beef in full) is that what you wanted to say to me? If she said yes.........
4. I was to reply to her "Cupcake, I understand how me acting that way could make you feel like that"
etc. etc.....There was more to it but fuck it for this story. You get the picture.

So a couple weeks of me reciting this learned shit to her over why we don't go on a jillion vacations, why we don't have new cars, why our lawn looks so shittty, why I don't want a $5000 dollar stove in the kitchen, etc..etc... She was frustrated because marriage counseling was not working.

In spite of my being re trained to "listening to her needs" I was still not coming up with the right one word answer to her every whim.
Which was the word YES. To every fucking thing she wanted.

Because of my slow progress this frustration forced her to act out in a "slightly inappropriate way". She "never really" meant to ditch us at that speed. She was just "venting". I of course blew it way out of proportion. While she "may" have speed the vehicle up "a bit" it was only to "get my attention" so she would be heard........

I now stop here.

You get to decide on the whole "was she REALLY bat shit crazy".
I made my decision on that long ago in front of the divorce judge.

Peace brothers!

(pulls all poker chips from the pot in center of the table, and begins to stack them in front of me)


harlowe :

O.G., can you imagine what would have happened if you pulled what she did? EVERYONE would have told her to leave you. That you're a danger. A monster. That no woman should have to put up with that kind of behavior. For her, on the other hand, there should be no consequences whatsoever for her actions.


William Noy :

Whenever I hear of behavior like this, I go right to the rhetorical jugular (in mixed company, I might add, which is funny because the girl telling the story doesn't even REALIZE her friend is acting beyond the pale) and suggest she's a monster and that she should probably be charged with a crime, and the significant other should definitely leave her and take the kids for their own safety.

Ohhhh weeee, you would not beleive the mix of a $*** storm/@$$ covering this leads to.


Fully Completely :

Here's one, I'll read the above posts later, I'm catching up at work :
Mid nineties a friend introduces me to a dumb hot chick from a family with money. She lives near by so I'm thinking this could be great.
Of course she got dumped by her alpha bodybuilder a few months prior and I got to hear all about how he gets an erection for his new GF but would not get one
anymore for her and how he would carry some fat about his mid section although he was a bodybuilder, oh and he would never be as patient as I am with my small
business because he's aggressive and a go getter that wants instant results.
So he's in construction. She still had feelings for this guy and put him on a pedestal and his looks, bulk, penis and belly fat are the best thing since sliced bread.

So one holloween night my friend invites me over and its is decided that we go out and party it up. Of course me being the introvert am not too keen but am looking for
some action, so agree. Long story short the girls made me up as a woman and I got to wear her tights ( which was kind of exciting ) , then went out to some local restaurant.
Now I'm not the best looking guy out there if not allowed to rock my style, so let's just say I was homely as hell and got lots of unwanted attention, which was not welcome on my part.
Then at the restaurant some little pepper frenchman looking for a lay starts hitting on her and saying that she looks like a girl wanting some action and that I should get the hell out. I held back on account of my garb, was totally devoid of any confidence at that point. If this was to replay again today, me being normally dressed that little pepper would of had his food up his nostrils.
That was my lowest point ever in humiliating myself for pussy. Never again.

If ever I see that girl again I would now just laugh in her face.


William Noy :

TThought you might like this quote from The Libertine, which is what your story made me think of: 

Molly Luscombe: My lord, Alice Twoumy has sent word. Her child is sick and she shan't come.
Rochester: What was to be her role?
Molly Luscombe: She was playing "Little Clitoris."
Rochester: Of course [turns to his manservant]. Alcock! This is your moment. You will stand in for her.
Alcock: No, my lord.
Rochester: I beg your pardon?
Alcock: I'm All Cock. "Little Clitoris" is beyond my range.


Chairborne :

That's a tough situation - not a lot of dignity to be had there. Ouch. The red pill cures indignity though - in fact it's an vaccination against dignity loss in the future.


Fully Completely :

Although I made an ass of myself many times the monetary cost was next to nothing. I credit this to my very slow rise from being a destitute orphan to having above average assets with nearly no debt now. I could have easily lost everything had I not listened to my gut feeling as much. When you lack education ( only have high school machine shop training ) you learn real quick to cut away any unnecessary spending and focus on your own safety first. Fapping defined my teens and twenties.


ikbenrein :

Seems like my little 2000 euro accident was nothing compared to some things you guys endured, but I'll chip in with a minor story.

How about travelling cross-country by train (although just a few hours in the small country that Holland is) to meet your girlfriend, then waiting for hours for her to be available because she had forgotten that I was coming over. When I finally was with her it was clear something was wrong. So I asked her what was wrong. She told me that she wanted to break up (a phonecall would have worked). That was fucking nice after having spend half a day just to get to her, but it gets better, it was already midnight by this point, so I couldn't get on a train home anymore. So I had to sleep at her place for the night. She wanted to talk about how she felt some more. At 2 AM I could finally sleep with her lying next to me (isn't that nice). I got up at 7AM to go to the train. Apperently I woke her up. She felt so guilty about it all, she had to make sandwiches for my ride home, that would make things right. I refused them, we had an argument over that for about an hour, and then I finally left.


O.G. :

The bish finally makes you a samich.....and you didn't take it? WTF???


frog :

Who started this? Chairborn, you are the stick that stirs the shit!


Fully Completely :

Well her tights were sort of like the kind of tights I wear when XC skiing ( when you are a high level XC skier you can pull off some fairly crazy looking prints like the pros ) . Hers were grey tights with flower prints, and when I got to put them on in her room with her standing just on the other side of the door I thought I was well on my way to getting intimate with her.

Didn't work out that way.


TheRecipe :

I paid off a woman's rent for about $300. And the kicker? She had previously friendzoned me a few weeks earlier. She even said she would pay me back asap but never did. That was probably my dumbest moment as a beta chump - I think part of me thought it would get me out of the friendzone and into her pants!

I also had women freeloading drinks off me many times. On one occasion when I thought I was going to get some and I ended up paying a cab for both of us to back to her place where I got rejected at her front door. Had to walk back 5 miles through town at about 1AM.


Chairborne :

Wow, what a twat move. Seriously, she could have told you before and you could have not sent the cab on its way. She must have been totally self-centered, as she didn't even THINK of another human being, that you would have to walk. Damn.


Matt Foley :

Holy shit, Chairborne! She must must have been great in bed.

I've done similar. I put up with far too much bullshit from my daughter's mom (I was about 24 or 25 at the time and she was about 31 or 32). She made a lot more than I did, but I was expected to pay for pretty much everything. I just assumed that this was how relationships were supposed to work, since I'd never had a real relationship up to that point. My main example of how a relationship should work came from watching my parents -- my dad is a total mangina and my mom was a really domineering bitch (although she's a lot cooler now). Going to him with questions about women was next to useless.

I was pretty much flying blind until I discovered the Red Pill.

​​​​​​​
Fully Completely :

Here's one : Bartered some machine work with a buddy that had a ski suit business. He would make high end two piece suits to order for the local Laurentian hills like Tremblant, St-Sauver etc. I was dating a hot carrousel type girl then that liked downhill skiing, so had the suit made for her. Of course when we went to my friends shop for try on she pulled a little hissy fit on their recommending a size larger than she was used to.. She ended up agreeing on the pants, which were fine but getting the jacket on the small side, straight jacket small.

This was late fall, brought her skiing a handful of times and bailed on me right before new years eve weekend. I saw her again a year later at a mountain bike race and watched it with her ( a buddy was racing, I was looking after his gear ) When the race was over she stood around waiting for a free supper or something, which would of led to some action I am quite sure judging by how she was responding. I then just left and wished her a good day heheh.


toolate :

As much as I chumped long term for the wife, these stories bring out memories of other women I've beta'd for. The car I loaned to a gal where I had to physically get back from her is another one that popped out of the deep memory banks.

I was raised in society that defered to women, just as the liberation shit kicked in (70s). All I did was reinforce their sense of entitlement. Boy FRIENDS replace daddy as they ride the carousel.


Abdenour :

Well ... I don't have anything as bad as some people around here. That's probably because, even though I was blue pill until age 44 (am 45 now), I was a level 1.5 blue pill MGTOW since age 26: I had decided since age 26 not to get married, but I hadn't rejected relationships, short term or long term. Also, I in fact was a de facto level 2 MGTOW since age 26, because, even though I hadn't rejected long term relationships until last year (at age 44), none of my relationships since had turned long term (as in more than 8 months). But I do have some confessionals about things that would have not happened if I had always been a red pill.

1) 13 years ago, I loaned $270 to a woman I was dating, and let her stay a week or two at my house where she ran $40 in long distance. I had also driven her around to many errands (at least three, probably four) after she sold her car. When I asked her to pay me back, she bitched at me and hang up on me. Had I been a red pill, first, I would have driven her to only one errand (the one where she asked me after she bought me a nice brunch). Second, I wouldn't have let her stay at my house. Third, I wouldn't have loaned her the money.

2) Almost five years ago, I was talking on the phone to a woman I had met on Craigslist. In the middle of the conversation, she told me "I meet over food and drinks". Had I been a red pill, I would have immediately recognized a gold digger and cut off all contacts. Instead, all blue pill that I was, even though that turned me off, I later rationalized it as just setting a minimum standards for whom to date, specially since I took several woman (as in one a year on average, nothing crazy) to dinner anyways without thinking twice. But even as a blue pill, I didn't take her anywhere for about a year. We just continued chatting by email and on Yahoo messenger. Then, almost 4 years ago, she proposed to me a settlement funding deal that sounded like a win win. She would get money from me while waiting for a lawsuit to settle, and I would get a 20% return in 6 months (and 44% if it took one year). As a blue pill, I did the deal without running any background check on her. She got $9,661 from me. 8.5 months later, I realized that the contract was illegal (in California, it's illegal to do a settlement funding on Workers Comp, which her lawsuit was). We fixed the paperwork to turn in into a $12,000 unsecured note (The $9,661 she got from me, plus over $2,000 in paper profits). All I ever got back from her was $1,500. With court costs, I am out a little over $8,500, and I got an almost $13,000 judgment against her (the $8,500, plus $500 she paid me post judgment, plus almost $4,000 in paper profit). Who knows how much of that I will recover. Had I been a red pill, I would have run a background check on her, and found out that she had already spent over a year in state prison for stealing $1,500 from an 81 year old elderly man. And wouldn't have done the deal, since I had never done a settlement funding deal before, and certainly wouldn't have tested the waters with such a psychopath. As if that wasn't bad enough, I bought the psychopath two $100 gifts (one for each Christmas 2010 and 2011), and lent her a used computer monitor, which I never got back. I guess I will update this thread once I start collecting on my judgment.


Myshkin :

I want to party with Hobbitnutz.
But I don't think I could keep up.
Hope Hobbitnutz doesn't have to work tomorrow.


2Naive4MyOwnGood :

The ultimate blue pill moment of my life would be entering into a totally one sided marriage contract with a woman!


Primus_Pilus :

Don't feel too bad .... I had two of those moments.
Now I'm like the Jewish guy after World War 2 ... Got my own homeland and .... NEVER AGAIN​​​​​​​.


College MGTOW :

I'm stepping in and calling all the chips off the table, and directed towards me and others who have done such stupid things:

The most blue-pill [arguably omega, believe me I'm ashamed to admit this] thing you can do is volunteer your name to a potential wad of cells whose father is uncertain or unwilling. I got lucky, she politely refused and said she'd figure something else out, but this was probably the stupidest and most blue-pill thing there is to do. Scared me for nearly 10 years thinking about the stupid things I did for that woman. [State law is flexible on things like that...]

Don't. Fucking. Do it. No, you're smarter than that, right? Make sure others don't.


Chairborne :

You dodged a bullet CollegeMGTOW. Seriously.


Ancient Sunlight :

With my long-term girlfriend from college, it was the mistake of paying for a lot. It wasn't even that she was begging me to go to expensive restaurants or anything; but it was the choice between staying home and hearing her nag, watch television or whatever, or actually going out and doing something. Too bad doing something usually entailed me paying. I was smart enough to search for cheap places and formed some bonds with restaurant staff and what not, who were helpful in certain situations (one waiter actually joked to her that she should pay for once, which -- truly -- she then did!); but I sure blew a lot of money that way!


William Noy :

Same here. I'd go to visit her, and back then I'd keep between $120-$130 in my wallet, and this suited me fine. I wouldn't' go through that in two weeks (gas was cheaper back then). Anyway, I'd visit her on the weekend (we'd gone to the same school, and she started graduate school at another school a semester before I did) and ALL my money would get spent. My mind was boggled. I didn't understand how EVERY TIME I went up there, we ended up spending ALL of my money.

When I did my taxes that year, I figured a full 1/3 of what I'd earned had been spent on her. Which was unacceptable, and I told her about it. To her credit, she actually started paying for things after that discussion. She was, however, in many other ways so draining on me that I couldn't stay with her long term (sort of a co-dependent energy-vampire vibe going on).


bob :

So, Mother's Day early 2000s:

I buy M an opal pendant for $200 or $250. I have it for her, haven't told her. She and her manipulative bitch daughter are supposed to come by at, say noon.

Bitches show up 4 hours late. No calls, even though she had a cell phone which I was paying for! No apologies at all, in fact the contrary: "What else were you going to do anyway?" Dafuq! And the daughter gave me shit too.

And after a shouting match - I gave her the pendant anyhow! Yes, mangina!

Then Friday before the 4th of July, we plan to go to Taste of Chicago in the afternoon (first mistake - it's a claustrophobic mob scene) and then watch the Chicago fireworks that evening. This was special because we'd have her grandkids with. (Side note: M was a seriously good looking black woman - the wall was massively delayed out for her, as she was still hot in her early 40's when this happened. Also, I was already getting to the point where I enjoyed the grandkids more than her. [she'd had a hysterectomy so the crazy good sex of previous years had fallen off....])

So I'm there with M, the manipulative bitch daughter and her kid, the other (slightly less manipulative bitch) daughter and her 2 kids. Two-kid daughter has a double side-by-side stroller for her kids. One-kid (more manipulative) daughter has a single stroller. M and one kid daughter are leading the way like "we're going to that stand over there to get some food" - and I'm behind them shouting "hold up, we can't all move as fast as you" - and they fucking disappear.

So there's no way to find them in the crowd - it is simply impossible. As big as Grant Park is, it's a complete mob scene where the concessions are.

So I try calling her on her cell phone (which I bought her and am paying for) - but no answer.

Then 2-kid daughter decides she wants to go home (on the South Side). So I drive them home. Then I come back to my apartment ( a few blocks away from downtown.) And I start dialing M's cell-phone (which I bought her and am paying for) - but no answer. I do this repeatedly while: It gets dark. The fireworks start and end. It's been 4 hours.

Then the phone rings. After it's all over, she calls me to get her, her (more) manipulative bitch daughter and grandkid and take them home. I do it. The whole time it's like:
"
me: why didn't you call when we got separated?
M: why did we get separated/ why didn't you find us?
me: once we were separated it was impossible, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL UNTIL NOW?
her: you weren't supposed to get separated.
me: I happened? Why didn't you call until now?
yada yada yada.
"

Good News: I dumped that bitch 2 days later. Sadly, the next bitch I hooked up with was all about the money. WAY too much money.


William Noy :

Whoa. I can't match that. My natural intransigence would have caused me to ask them to leave immediately blue pill or no blue pill.

Lots of views. This thread seems popular with the lurkers lol. Feel free to join in, folks.


bob :

Yet I somehow never got married, in spite of decent and good looking women who were interested. Maybe early red-pilling - or just cowardice, but it probably saved my life. I shudder at the divorce stories in here and at HQ and the old forum - you did well in yours, it is so seldom that way.


William Noy :

Yeah. I am VERY aware that I am in a minority on that count, which is why I'm always careful to say, though I feel my decisions and planning before, during, and after the divorce process helped, and can be useful advice, that I was in an advantageous position due to a number of factors, and it's better not to get legally married at all. It's the only way to be sure.

See, while I married, I apparently have a lower tolerance for certain types of BS. For example, if someone gets in my face and behaves in utter contempt for my time, and yet still expresses entitlement to a benefit from me, I don't care if it's man, woman, or whatever, they've done poked the bear, and that's NEVER a good idea. 

As a matter of fact, not long before she finally left for good, my wife was fighting with me over her need to go out (for the eighth time in two weeks) and telling me that (even though I worked all the time), she was having a rough time adjusting to not working, and NEEDED to go out. And she said that I never went out anyway, and didn't have anything better to do, so she thought I should watch the kids in the evening all by my self (for the eighth time after working all day). Something about her tone just made me snap. I said fine, I'm going out. And I left. It really freaked her out. She asked where I was going and when I'd be back (guess she'd promised her boyfriend she'd meet him at a certain time). I said it was none of her business (same thing she always told me.)

I only left for about an hour and a half. I didn't actually have anywhere to go, so I just parked at a nearby park and listened to a radio show. It was nice in the quiet.

It really freaked her out, though. She kept calling and calling. I never answered until I got back home.

Funny thing, she was really well-behaved and nice as can be for probably a full month after that before she started up with her nonsense again.


Chairborne :

>   Originally Posted by bob 

> ...Then the phone rings. After it's all over, she calls me to get her, her (more) manipulative bitch daughter and grandkid and take them home. I do it. The whole time it's like:
> "
> me: why didn't you call when we got separated?
> M: why did we get separated/ why didn't you find us?
> me: once we were separated it was impossible, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL UNTIL NOW?
> her: you weren't supposed to get separated.
> me: I happened? Why didn't you call until now?
> yada yada yada.
> "
> Good News: I dumped that bitch 2 days later. Sadly, the next bitch I hooked up with was all about the money. WAY too much money.

dayumn. Of course if YOU had lost HER that conversation wouldn't have played out the same way, huh? It woulda been "YOUWALKEDAWAYFROMUSWHYDIDYOUDOTHATGODAMNITYOUMONSTERSELFISHPRICKFUCKYOUIHOPEYOUDIEYOUNEVERDOANYTHINGRIGHTYOUARESOFUCKINGSELFISH!!!"


Indianajohn :

I got my girl friend pregnant and married her.

30 years later, here I am.

Haven't pulled the pin yet. I stand to have to pay 50% of my income to her for the rest of her life. Plus loose half my pension and 401K and the house. BDG really looks down on someone that divorces a disabled spouse.

I'm still trying to figure a way out. Just haven't decided is pulling the pin is worth it yet


O.G.  :

John-I find your situation to be horrifying. I really feel for you there brother. The rest of us are talking about the past. Mistakes we made that we hopefully never repeat.

You are in an ongoing zombie wasteland. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
May you find a solution to this, that you can live with and brings you some peace.


Chairborne :

mirroring behavior can be effective - as long as it doesn't descend to violence.

I wish I had mirrored the behavior of some of my exes, it would have been cathartic for me, & possibly educational for her.


William Noy :

Now that you mention it, I'd like to experiment more, as well.