When we set out to build this community, we did so from the lessons of the last forums. We took the time to fashion a set of Principles that were meant to orient us towards where we wanted to end up -
a positive community that emphasized both the good and the truth in the world.
The challenge with MGTOW communities is that there is always a contingent which has adopted an angry, defensive posture to life. This small but loud minority turns the community into a race to the bottom- to express loudly their cynicism and attempt to portray anything to the contrary as naivety. They have lost hope and unknowingly pull others into their worldview of mindless cynicism. From the
Principles
:
So without further ado, what defines our GYOW community? Our community is:
Positive:
Red-Pill MGTOWs don't live life in a defensive crouch. After the initial disorientation of taking the red pill, one can't help but be grateful at the time and money you've saved....so why not put that time and money to good use?? There are always things that perturb us about twats and the site is great for that – but oftentimes a sense of humor about the whole thing keeps it light. Which is what we want. Without that light-hearted tone, it's too easy to trigger those same old feelings of resentment and anger. Let's poke fun, by all means, at the ridiculous 42 year old obese woman on a dating site who is looking for a tall, young, fit millionaire to sweep her off her feet. Once you're through the looking glass, increasingly the truth about the opposite sex becomes a source of belly laughs. What's the opposite of this? Paranoia & never-ending bitterness. Let's be real, but keep it upbeat.
We fully anticipated that some number of people would join and totally disregard the site principles as though they were optional. If you think negativity and pessimism are an effective mindset to thrive in life - great. Do it somewhere else. I just don't have any interest in debating the subject. We're confident that we're steering the group in the right direction and in the fullness of time, this perspective will bear fruit for the group.
I portray the essence of the Principles seriously, but we have not enforced them as well as we could. I take responsibility for that. For months, we have wondered how we might encourage this view, and discourage the opposite; we've tried to be active on the boards to encourage that perspective -- but it is not enough. From now on, we will do a better job from a moderation point of view. Communities can die a slow death where extremism encourages blanket generalizations obscuring the more nuanced reality underneath. Essentially, the conversation gets dumbed down to "All women are exactly the same....durrrr" or "I can't bother about that. F*ck it" Indifference taken to the extreme takes on the makeup of an impermeable defensive wall; nothing harmful gets in, but nothing valuable gets in either.
It is the opposite of the curious, vibrant lighthearted community we want to build.
As a site, we're not in competition with anyone else or trying to get the biggest #'s of people on our site. I want to create enough breathing room so that men who get through the anger phase of the red pill have a community that supports on their way back to embracing life and all it has to offer.
Who have been able to master the anger, quarantine it, and enjoy their bachelorhood.
It is fine to discuss with others how to work through the anger. It is fine to use the rant sub-forum. If you stay in that mode and attempt to shit on everything else from a mindset of defeatism or cynicism, that's not going to work.
Having said all this,
the vast majority of you are doing exactly what we asked for as expressed in the Principles. And we thank you for it.
Your contributions, your analysis, your humorous POV is what keeps the forum a place people want to return to.
Finally, I realize what I say isn't going to win me any popularity. That's ok. I also realize some people disagree with this philosophy. That's fine too. GYOW is not the only MGTOW site on the web and everyone has to figure out what makes the most sense to them. We created the Principles with a specific end and owe it to the majority of users who actually read them to create the community they expected they would get.
-Jagr
